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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has always been the safe haven for daily publications, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and milestones, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to find out that a prominent writer a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room a little too literally, and had to be saved from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the controversial forward popped into a local college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds acting like the owner.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager following a short conversation inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he had entered the sodden troubled England locker room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably in the quarter of a century since. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“How important is a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|